Out of my Life
by Flowerperson
Summary: Short Oneshot. Now that Mariam has gone to America with Max, Dunga is thinking of her. She’s out of his life, and he should be happy. No more ‘gorilla’ insults. But… he misses her.


**Disclaimer: **I hope to one day own something and then write fanfiction about it then go HA! I DO OWN IT! Unfortunately, this will probably not happen and I don't own Beyblade.  
**Title: **Out of my life  
**Rating: **T  
**Categories: **Angst/Romance/Drama  
**Summary: **One-shot. Now that Mariam has gone to America with Max, Dunga is thinking of her. She's out of his life, and he should be happy. No more 'gorilla' insults. But… he misses her.  
**Feedback: **Reviews! YUM! Flames? Why would you bother?  
**Status: **One-shot drabble. Incredibly short. NO CHAPTERS!  
**Notes: **My first shot at a Dunga/Mariam and a Max/Mariam! ((smiles)) I hope you like it! It's in _Dunga POV_.

I apologise to those that read my other stories, my laptop that had the files is… dead. I have to write the chapters all over again and now I do not have a permanent computer. I am kind of… 'hopping', if you will.

Enjoy!

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**OUT OF MY LIFE**

_Dunga/Mariam/Max Drabble (Dunga POV)_

**_Flowerperson  
_**© 2005

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She's out of my life. Mariam's out of my life. However… I don't know whether to laugh in open happiness or cry in unadulterated grief. Should I live in ever-lasting glee or die in eternal loneliness? She is gone. Gone. Gone…

It is out of my hands. I don't have to deal with her comments or her insults. I don't have to deal with her long, thick, beautiful, blue hair that sways in the gentle breeze. I don't have to deal with her beautiful jade green eyes that sparkle like twin emeralds.

Mariam's out of my head. I no longer hear her rejecting me or calling me a gorilla or another member of the ape family. I shall no longer imagine touching her soft skin in my dreams, or think of how full her lips were, what they would taste like if I were to kiss them…

Idiot! I can't think of thoughts like that! She's just some annoying girl with an even more aggravating voice. Hell, she called me a bothersome gorilla most of the time. But… those words had cut painfully like a knife. For many years, we had known each other. Even when we first met, we had not got along well. We were around each other a lot. To think, that I actually miss all our arguments, the way she had called me those infuriating nicknames.

"_Dunga the ape…"_

I had taken those exchanged insults for granted.

I miss them, every last one.

_Mariam…_

I miss her. I miss her sly comments, her wild blue hair, her emerald eyes, her pale skin, the way she launches her beyblade with grace and beauty, the way she walks. It sounds so cliché, but it is true.

I have finally learnt that I love her. I have gradually learnt that I don't want to let her go. I have learnt little by little that she's beautiful. I have learnt slowly but surely that I need her. I have painfully learnt that she's out of my life.

Damn blindness. I couldn't see what I felt for her until now. I couldn't see how important she is to me until now. I couldn't see how much I _don't _want her out of my life.

Damn indecision. I had a feeling when she started going out with Max. Joseph – Mariam's little brother – teased me about it, said I was 'jealous'. At that point, I refused this sensation of envy. Now, however, I feel it. Just thinking of her with Max, kissing Max, marrying Max, having Max's children… it makes my blood boil and the green-eyed monster reared its ugly head. When she told us she was leaving for the USA, I felt angry, sad, jealous and happy all at the same time.

I was angry because she was leaving me. I was sad because I probably would not see her again. I was jealous because Max would have all to himself. I was happy because she looked… joyful.

Damn cursed pride. I hate my darn ego. If I had not bitten back, if I had been nice to her and maybe later if I had told her my feelings for her, she might be mine. She may love me as I l…

Love her. Do I really love her? This strong feeling that emerges when I think of her… is it love? It is like a strong feeling of like. A mix of friendship, like and maybe even a bit of lust. She is attractive, her personality is intriguing, her intelligence makes her that much more desirable.

Damn me. It cuts deeply, deep within my heart, my soul, my mind and even my body. Do I deserve this pain? Do I deserve to lose her? Do I deserve to not have returned love from the person that I give my heart to?

I love her. Does she return my feelings? Does she return my love?

I suppose it doesn't really matter now.

She's out of my life.

Or maybe not. I watch the plane time's list on the television screens. The next one to New York, USA is at 17:32. I have already bought my tickets for the plane, but I can't help but have second thoughts. Cold feet. She was happy with Max, and she always seems sad or pissed off around me. Maybe she loves him, why should I destroy her happiness for me?

She loves him.

But I have to just see her. If I don't, I'll regret it for the rest of my life. I have to know. Boarding the plane, my decision is set. I must know. Does she have feelings for me? Does she return my love?

She's out of my life, but I want her back in it. Now!

At half past five, I board the plane and I sit down by the window in seat 64-A. The plane will take off soon. I'll be with Mariam. I'll see Max. I'll ask her. She can tell me. I'll know. I'll either be heartbroken, or will have her heart for the rest of my life. Here I come, USA. Here I come, New York. Here I come, Max Tate. Here I come… Mariam.

I want her _in my life_.

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Voila! Drabble a la Dunga/Mariam/Max.

**EMAIL (AND MSN): **RavenofDespair13ATaolDOTcom  
**AIM: **RavenofDespair13


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